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How to Be a Downlow Butt-Kisser

 Butt kissing used to be a fine art. That is until a large number of professional butt kissers basically ruined it for everyone else. 

Professional butt kissers especially in the workplace have been outed for years. Less enthusiastic butt kissers, or people who don't kiss butt at all, started verbalizing their resentment towards the robust smackers, making it more difficult now for their ploy of climbing a workplace or social ladder all the more suspect.

"You're just kissing butt to get promoted," became a common refrain in the workplace. Once outed and known by the boss, even the boss might have a bad taste in their mouth, feeling used or even abused in a ladder-climbing competition that can often get a little nasty. 

Given the bad name of professional butt kissers, the new suave approach is to kiss butt without the recipient even realizing their butt has been kissed.  Downlow butt-kissing has a way of leaving a nice after-glow on the recipient, causing them to think highly of you even if they are not sure why.

Here are examples of professional butt-kissing and Downlow butt-kissing:

1. God! I love your haircut! It makes you look so much younger! You should never let your hair grow that long again. I mean it's like a movie star just walked into the room. (Professional Butt-Kisser.)

2. The downlow kisser will not even comment on the haircut the first day. The recipient is going to notice that you did not say anything, and this might concern them a bit. But then the next day or so standing in the break room you might say, softly: "You must have paid a pretty penny for that haircut. I'm floored at how cool it looks."


Notice in the Downlow version the person is not all in your face gushing like a busted fire hydrant. It leaves a subtle, lasting impression. You are not showing off. You spoke in a low voice. It was just a really thoughtful acknowledgement of the new haircut and then move on to other topics. 


Another example of bad butt-kissing versus good:


3. I love the way you lead our team. You know all the right things to say and when to say them. I think you should be running this company -wow, I hope you are running this company one day but don't tell the big boss I said it, Lol. (Professional Butt-Kisser.)

4. I like your style, man. I feel enriched being on your team, 'appreciate it. (Downlow Butt-Kisser.)


Notice the difference? These days when professional butt-kissers still abound, bosses and other recipients of the loud-mouth manner of ladder climbing are growing tired of it. A breath of fresh air is the downlow performer: they give a stellar performance that doesn't steal attention away from anyone else, and there is a sincerity to their approach that does not go unnoticed by the very intelligent. 

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